Dear C. M. Chang
I cannot believe this jack-ass of a writer I know is so successful. The metaphors he uses are as cliché as you can get, the plot lines are holy as Swiss cheese, and his story is as predictable as when my dog needs to poop. Yet he’s got an agent(s!), his books are getting translated into multiple languages, famous writers are giving reviews of his ARCs. If only his loyal readers knew that he was such a pompous ass in real life. I mean, come on! Does life have to be this unfair?
Finding this really sucky,
Y. I. M.
Dear Y.I.M.,
You are not alone here, and I’m afraid it’s something you need to get used to pretty darn fast. Because, guess what? There is always someone that is going to be luckier, better at writing, better connected in the lit world, better looking, richer, you name it!
Stop wasting valuable time on that jack-ass-of-a-writer as you call them and use that angry energy to fuel your own writing and your own career. Go and Like all of his social media posts so that he shows up on your FYP. Make yourself angrier! Then channel all of that angry energy into yourself. Stop complaining, and start writing!
Honestly yours,
C.M. Chang